Advice for law students

If your professor ever uses the word "interplay" in class, the topic under discussion will be the exam. No exceptions.

One more to go (this afternoon)...

Bird songs changing to rap in urban environments

This being finals, I will provide a link and you get to do the legwork. While "rap" may be a bit of an overstatement, it is how the Beeb portrayed it, so I'll leave it.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/6209498.stm

Why we need student associations

The following was circulated by the Student Bar Association at my school:

Know a little something about tax returns?

The SBA is looking for someone to head up the 2007 Volunteer Income Tax Assistance (VITA) program for GW. The basic purpose of VITA is to provide tax return preparation assistance to low-income, elderly, indigent, or non-English speaking taxpayers. The program is part of the ABA Law Student Division and works in conjunction with other schools in the area to assist these taxpayers with their income tax return issues.

If you are interested in helping organize this program, please email [address].

Granted I normally don't go in much for the whole "helping poor people" thing that a lot of people devote significant portions of their lives to, but in looking at the ad, it just strikes me as strange. From what I remember of the Income Tax course, indigent people frequently don't even have to file returns. If you don't have a job, you are a day laborer, you are a contractor, or your employer doesn't withhold, and you make little enough, the IRS doesn't want your paperwork.

So while the elderly and non-English speakers probably could use help, the rest of this just, well, makes me wonder who exactly puts this sort of thing together.

On Strange Case Names

In a copyright case where archive parade footage from a charity fundraiser video was accidentally included in a strip flick, we read the following:

Thus, this most delightful of case names: Easter Seal Society for Crippled Children v. Playboy Enterprises; seriously rivaled, in our judgment, only by United States v. 11 1/4 Dozen Packages of Article Labeled in Part Mrs. Moffat's Shoo Fly Powders for Drunkenness, 40 F. Supp. 208 (W. D. N.Y. 1941) (condemnation proceeding under Food, Drug and Cosmetic Act), and United States ex rel. Mayo v. Satan and his Staff, 54 F.R.D. 282 (W. D. Pa. 1971) (leave to proceed in forma pauperis denied in view of questions of personal jurisdiction over defendants).

815 F.2d 323, 325 n.1 (5th Cir. 1987).

In case you were wondering, the inclusion does appear to have been accidental: Playboy asked, through an intermediary, for some Mardi Gras footage; the intermediary asked a New Orleans TV station for it, and the TV station, rather than go through their archives to try to find a good clip, just pulled it from spools of footage of a staged Mardi Gras parade they had shot as an in-kind donation to the Easter Seals.

So here is my easy request designed to prompt comments:

Which of these do you think the funniest? Do you know of any other good ones?

Testamentary advice

If you are going to shoot yourself, you should make sure you have a will, so that you know what happens to the stuff you have. And you should also make sure that you bequeath the gun you shoot yourself with to a more distant relative, so that they will actually appreciate the gift, and not care so much that it was the same gun that *sob, tear in eye* you shot yourself with.

[Note for the benefit of the bar association: the foregoing is NOT legal advice. It is humor. Sick humor, but humor nonetheless.]

Social Graces

True story, happened today --

Guy in suit (after asking a number of detailed questions about particular classes I am taking): Questions like these are how I learn what's going on around here.
Me: What exactly do you do around here?
Guy in suit: [Surprised Pause] I'm the dean of the law school.
Me: [Startled Pause, and probably "oops" written on my forehead] You look younger than your picture. [Smile, probably a Nervous Smile]

Well, I did have to say something, didn't I?

A rare foray by this blog into politics

The Beeb, in reporting on why U.S. Senators have traditionally made bad presidential candidates (only Warren G. Harding and JFK have gone straight from the Senate to the White House), says

Without the verbal rough and tumble of adversarial debates - the British Parliament is a blood sport by comparison - the Senate issues its members with a licence to bore.

And we wonder why Kerry can't even pull off the punch line of a joke, or why Bob Dole is seen muttering in the 1996 editorial cartoon, accompanied by the Tin Man et al., muttering, "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore..."

So here's to "unanimous consent to revise and expand their comments." Perhaps it will be enough to keep Clinton, Obama, and McCain out of the White House.

Case of the Day - Why Lit majors should go to Law School

With nearly as much trepidation as Frodo must have felt when he embarked on his journey to Morodor, n1 this federal court begins its ascension up a similarly foreboding, albeit "legal," summit arising out of a land dispute between the United States and its Agency, the United States Department of Agriculture, Farm Service Agency (hereinafter "FSA") and the defendants, Mark A. and Zelene M. Schilling (hereinafter "the Schillings"). Much like the power of the Ring carried by Frodo, which caused all who touched it to desire to possess it, both parties in this land dispute claim an ownership interest in a certain section of farm property. The court cannot retreat from parsing out the interests involved, as did Frodo, who solved the dilemma created by the Ring by throwing it into the fiery depths of the Cracks of Doom from which it was created and destroying it. Accordingly, the court will proceed to determine whether the FSA is entitled to summary judgment in this matter, over the defendants' zealous objections.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - Footnotes - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
n1 This reference comes from J.R.R Tolkien's three-part epic story, The Lord of the Rings. See generally Tolkien, J.R.R., The Lord of the Rings (HarperCollinsPublishers 2004) (1954). The book is based on the legend of the Rings of Power. Id. According to the story, in ancient times, the Rings of Power were crafted by the Elven-smiths, and Sauron, the Dark Lord, forged the One Ring, filling it with his own power so that he could rule all the others. Id. But the One Ring was taken from him and remained lost for many years. Id. After much time, the One Ring fell, by chance, into the hands of an adventurous hobbit, Bilbo Baggins. Id. When Bilbo reached his eleventy-first birthday, he disappeared, bequeathing to his young cousin, Frodo Baggins, the Ruling Ring and a perilous quest: to journey deep into the shadow of Sauron and destroy the Ring by casting it into the Cracks of Doom. Id. The power of the One Ring was so great, however, that anyone who touched it desired to possess it, although hobbits, such as Frodo and Bilbo, were somewhat more resilient to its awesome power. Id.
- - - - - - - - - - - - End Footnotes- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

United States v. Schilling, No. C05-3016, 2006 U.S. Dist. LEXIS 60902 at *2 (N.D. Iowa, August 25, 2006)

At the risk of this blog looking like a Redneck's* front yard...

[*Webb-Allen disclaimer: there is no readily used culturally sensitive term for redneck. Hick is just as derogatory and more strongly implies rural upbringing, Appalachian is inaccurate, hillbilly too restrictive, cracker is frequently used broadly of a whole race, trailer trash takes too long to say, cowboy is more of a political term than cutural, and bumpkin merely implies a disinterest in culture and world events (e.g., a redneck, but not a bumpkin, would still know that NASCAR driver Juan Pablo Montoya isn't from the United States).]

Here's the newest thing this blog's namesake required:



The state vehicle inspector wasn't thrilled with "play in the front end." So I went to a tire shop that also claims some expertise in front ends. Three hours later, they had looked it over, and I still knew more than they did. (Their solution, they explained, would be to replace all twelve parts in the steering linkage. Heh heh, don't think so.) So I took the linkage apart myself, found the problem, and replaced the part pictured above. When I took it back to the inspector, he renewed my faith in the laziness of mankind by asking what the problem had been, and when I told him, filling out the paperwork and giving me the sticker without actually looking at whether the problem was fixed.

So, for the title of "Parts-Meister of the Month," who can identify the front end part shown above?

Out-of-date Billy

Those who grew up around or in the navy-and-white tradition probably remember the "Ten Unchangeables," in both its list and song forms (I assume they changed the order between those two so that the hand motions to the song would work better, but the incontinuity always seemed a bit odd to me).

The list is important to the Institute teachings for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that those things that are on the list you have to come to peace with under the Principle of Design (be content, thank God that you are that way, etc.)

I got to wondering, however, just how unchangeable each of them really is. The following are what I have come up with so far:

1. I am one of a kind - there is a problem here in defining the scope of "one"ness. For instance, if someone clones me, the resultant person is still unique, even if their DNA is not. So in the sense that tautologically, because I am an entity, I am one and unique, this point is valid. Even a mass produced product, say a Pocket PC, were it sentient, would still be able to point to its uniqueness despite being built and programmed identically to every other member of its model. However, as to whether the things about me that are unique are unchangeable, that is trickier. For instance, height? While Sir G, at 5'2", may have his reasons for including this, there are hormonal, dietary, lifestyle, and surgical means of changing height, depending on one's age. So while the concept, I suppose, is useful in acknowledging that I can't change everything about myself, to posit this one-of-a-kind-ness as a concrete, rigid "unchangeable" is not readily done or explained.


2. Mom and Dad - two words: "Family Law." Perhaps unchangeable in the sense that it is the court, not yourself, who enforces their role in your life, but divorce, adoption, and state intervention can radically change who are actually in this role. If the Instute is concerned about actual biological relationship, the point should be disregarded altogether, since adoption is an important remedy for the many problems that may arise between the mere two humans who contributed your genes. Otherwise, while the idea can be helpful in the sense that you aren't responsible for many of the choices that formed some of who you are now, and in the sense that, for a child, those that are in loco parentis are probably there for your own good whether you like it or not, this isn't to say that you shouldn't be aware that change is possible under the right circumstances.


3. Brothers and Sisters - same objection as above. While you may not have a say as a child in who lives in the same house as you, it is hard to argue that blood forms some sort of normative bond which cannot be altered by other normative principles. Is there a reason you have to be on speaking terms with a sibling above and beyond the Pauline command to "if it is possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men"? And if for some reason it is not possible and it does not depend on you, do you really have a higher duty because the person is a sibling? And just how then are you supposed to do the impossible which does not depend on you?


4. Nationality - again, it is the normative aspects that are most troubling here. The United States was largely formed by those that just didn't fit in in the old world and who gave up on their ties to form new ones. If you, for any reason, feel like changing countries, you pretty much can. And if you have information the United States wants, they will probably help you do it ;-)


5. Mental Capacity - I have yet to hear of anyone stretching their mind to its capacity. Training is always possible to increase abilities in this area. Scared during a lunar eclipse because "the moon is being eaten"? Take some astronomy. Can't figure out your taxes? A little math goes a long way. Dictionaries, logic treatises, pills from Carini, and Mozart are all considered ways to improve. Don't give up on yourself. You're smarter than you think. And conversely, injury may take away what you have (see Regarding Henry, so don't think high mental capacity is unchangeable, either.


6. Time in history - ok, here I have to grant this one. Say what we may about time vortexes, relativity, and temporal instability, we don't have a reliable means of controlling this, and are not likely to develop it in the near future (not that the "nearness" of the future would matter if we did...). I'll take this time to just interject that the Puritan concept of "Providence" may be a better way to look all of these (insofar as they are "set" this way) than as an "unchangeable", since Providence not only reminds us of the personal care with which God crafted them, but that they are part of our service to Him. And insofar as they can be overcome, Providence placed them there, not as an "unchangeable" means of locking us into a particular state, but to then give us the grace and strength to overcome that.


7. Gender - I'm not going to use the song's term for this one and I won't waste much space wondering why this has to be separate from being one of a kind or what logical reason there is for it being this far down the list. However, while for the most part gender is definite, and very useful for such questions as constitutional definitions of marriage, it can be (and with some frequently is) changed. For a discussion of one aspect of this, see Washington Post, "New York to Ease Rules So Transgender Residents Can Update Birth Certificates" (link good until 11/21/06 or so). While there are a few religious arguments against transgendering (some less persuasive than others), it can be changed, and when it is, requires legal resolution of the resultant status.


8. Order of my Family - got nothing on this one. See "Time in history", however, since this is a subset of that one. As a side note, however, insofar as this point is seen as some sort of mandate for the way one will behave based on birth order, or how "counseling" should take account of the "needs" of a person based on the same, it may be "folk wisdom," but I wouldn't give it much more credence than the necessity of throwing salt over one's shoulder. You may be right some number of times, but it isn't wise, and it doesn't account for grace, and you run a strong risk of hurting the person you are trying to fix help, to make assumptions as to what their motivations and actions are. If it helps you understand what someone might do, fine, but if you are trying to use this as a charlatan's trick to demonstrate your sophistication and ability to solve things, you would do better to just befriend the person and work through it the hard way.


9. Aging - sure it happens, but this is a remarkably fluid concept. Scientific and medical research frequently comes up with things that look a lot like "reversing aging," like bone growth stimulation, skin elasticity treatments, and so on. As to whether aging happens to some extent, yes, it is unchangeable, but as to whether there is anything you can and should do about it, I don't think that is as straightforward. If a spot of foundation and blush can cover it over, or an injection can fix it, why not?


10. Death - I can't come up with anything on this one other than noting that just becuase death will occur doesn't specify when it will occur. You have to make preparations for death, but needn't feel compelled to die at any particular time just because the outlook is bleak.

So there you have the list, some of it more rant and less orderly treatment. Like many teachings from Big G and his gang, it suffers from trying to create a biblical mandate from extrabiblical reasoning. Does the Bible teach contentment, the importance of authority, etc? Yes. But the importance to them is that they are seen through the filter of grace. The thing is not that way because it is important of its own right, but because it is a means of bringing glory to God. For instance, any of the demon-possessed persons in the Gospels were only possessed for the express purpose of bringing glory to God and authentication to Christ's ministry by Jesus' casting them out. The item is not that way because unchangeability is a necessary atribute (more or less), but because changing the thing OR persevering despite dislike will glorify God. (And in support of that last generalization, I am now going to begin trying to figure out how a transgendered person's having made that change is glorifying to God. Look for a discussion on that point soon.)

That would be my class

(from The Washington Post, Nov. 1, 2006, Amy Argetsinger and Roxanne Roberts "The Reliable Source", p. C-03

THIS JUST IN . . .

* Alberto Gonzales dropped by GWU Law School yesterday, surprising 40 students in the criminal procedure class. The attorney general talked about military commissions, terrorist surveillance and the Patriot Act and took questions for 40 minutes -- before vanishing as mysteriously as he arrived. Turns out this was all his idea: Gonzales just got a hankering for legal chat with some students, and his staff tracked down a willing prof, former DOJ lawyer Renee Lerner. "I guess he really likes teaching," she said. "The students, of course, were delighted to have him." Is the AG mulling a move to academia? "He is not ruling any options out in terms of future careers," said Justice spokeswoman Tasia Scolinos. Any more stealth visits to law schools planned? "I wouldn't rule it out."

It was quite an enjoyable chat, he had even managed to get materials assigned beforehand. He certainly didn't cut himself any slack - he went straight into the legalities behind the Guantanamo detentions, trials, and interrogation methodologies, took questions on how the policies were formulated. Reminded me a bit of the "Master Class" methodology from back when I was taking piano lessons.

(Note: I may follow this up with a more substantive look at the issues covered)

London

I have been reading (and by reading I mean listening to in the car while commuting) London: A History by A. N. Wilson, a very short but enjoyable account of how the city grew.

One of my favorite comments related to the stagnation of London between the departure of the Romans and the arrival of the Normans. Why? Because the Britons and the Saxons didn't have brick technology, and the orderly, low-lying London area was indefensible and couldn't be properly utilized using sticks, thatch, and mud building materials. Yay Norman Conquest, which finally fixed this technological shortcoming.

Another interesting line, paraphrased here from memory, dealt with the modern English "queue mentality":

The new London mayor Ken Livingstone [elected in 1996 - Ed.] promised to do something about parking problems in the West End, and instituted a permit program so bureaucratic that it actually solved the problem because so few were able to navigate the permit process. However, it did not raise the fees revenue that was anticipated, and could be said to be a victim of its own success, that is to say, a failure.

Emissions

I am pleased to announce that my vehicle has passed emissions and will be good for two more years. Most of you are familiar with the beast after whom this blog is styled, and most are also familiar with the somewhat stringent guidelines the EPA has enforced on the area where I live, and so are therefore familiar with why I would be exuberant about such news.

Though I have done so before to a limited extent, I thought I would share with you some of the things that help lower emissions. Some of these are from the EPA, who actually have a goodly amount of helpful information on their website, and others from various sources.

1. Make sure your engine is hot when it is inspected. This is probably the single most helpful thing you can do. It will cut some of your numbers in half. A warm engine pushes warmed fuel into the cylinders, and requiring less fuel and promoting more complete combustion. About twenty minutes of road driving is enough for most cars; however (as I understand it, and I could be wrong), mere idling is not as helpful as road driving, since it does not distribute temperature as well.

2. Cooler days are better for getting inspected. This is for two reasons: before the EPA started regulating such things, one of the major sources of emissions was not from the tailpipe, but evaporative emissions from the gas tank, the engine, etc. With the new control systems for such things, those emissions are more likely to show up in your tailpipe as higher CO, NO, hydrocarbons, or something else you are tested for in your area. Additionally, cooler air is denser, meaning that when "thin" hot fuel and "thick" cool air flow together, you get a higher percent of "clean air" coming out of the tailpipe.

3. A clean engine has less resistance and needs less fuel to do the same work. Keeping your fluids clean is helpful. For example, an oil change a few days before the inspection is helpful. Transmissions are closed systems and the newness of the fluid there shouldn't be a factor, but if you haven't done anything for it recently, there may be metal shavings slowing things down (probably not a big factor, but something to think about). Also, there are a lot of deposits that build up inside your engine that can be flushed out with gas additives such as fuel injector cleaner, and my personal favorite, BG Products' pricey but effective 44k Power Enhancer.

4. Ethanol burns more cleanly than gasoline. You can use a mixture of 10% ethanol, 90% gasoline (probably more, but not much more) in a gasoline engine without any adjustments. Some old cars can be tuned to take a whole lot more, but you have to be good with timing chains and mixture screws. Since 1986 (I think), engine blocks have been sealed, so you can't play with the mixture, and you need new computer control chips to use a higher percent ethanol. However, a number of new cars and trucks (particularly larger American vehicles) are now available with computers that adapt to either gas or E85 (85% ethanol). Areas that have stringent emissions restrictions also often stock E10 gasoline. Otherwise, you can get ethanol at these stations and make your own mixture. (Or you can get it from a moonshiner, but that has both quality and legality risks.)

5. As a last resort, you can replace factory products such as the catalytic converter, with more effective custom models. Your auto parts store will be able to provide you with better details than I can, and can tailor it to your problem (e.g., if you are only having trouble with your NO levels, maybe it is your EGR valve, not some other more expensive part).

The above may not be a learned treatise, and I am happy to accept corrections (especially from Motokeb), but that is what I have picked up over the last few years.

Laptops

Today I sat down at school and noticed that the computer next to me was a black-covered MacBook. For a MacBook, I was impressed. It almost looked like a real computer.

It's Alive!

Black Angus has returned from the land of the shades. The doc says putting this bit of metal into him is what it took:





I'd start calling the dear steer a bionic beast if he had anything biological about him... come to think of it, his fuel and lubrication, as well as parts of his upholstry, hoses, and tires are of biological origin, so maybe I'll use the nickname after all.


So now for a moment of shameless commercialism: I was very happy with Champion Transmission in Sterling. They done right, didn't try nuthin' funny, stuck with their estimate even when something came up.

Common Law Marriage

The husband also, by the old law, might give his wife moderate correction.... But, with us, in the politer reign of Charles the Second, this power of correction began to be doubted; and a wife may now have security of the peace agianst her husband; or, in return, a husband against his wife. Yet the lower rank of people, who were always fond of the old common law, still claim and exert their ancient priviledge...

--William Blackstone, Commentary on the Laws of England 445 (1765)

“I believe in compulsory cannibalism. If people were forced to eat what they killed, there would be no more wars.”

--Abbie Hoffman

Congrats to Cavie

And sympathy to Andrea.

Professor Quote

Of the denizens of legal hypotheticals, B is usually a victim, as in "A hits B," while in this class, B does better, for A will normally give to B, as in "A leaves to B". B will be a happy camper.

--Adam Hirsch, Trusts & Estates

The things that aren't said - thoughts on the "public" aspect of public transit

On the subway, there is a certain distance that is kept between passengers, a sort of, "I have to be here in close proximity to you, but you don't have to acknowledge that I am." To some extent, it is a matter of courtesy, since the co-commuter doesn't have much choice in whether they are there, and it isn't fair to take advantage of their helplessness by pressing them into conversation. But still, there are the occasional things that you want to say. For instance, to certain individuals I have seen,

"It's nice to see the Seersucker still in use. It looks great on you."

"I like seeing someone with the boldness to do a crossword in pen."

"You know, even though you have removed the dust jacket, people can still see that you are reading Harry Potter. It's a great book, but you should have the confidence to just read it."

Interestingly, there are things that should probably be said but aren't. For instance, yesterday, the person behind me in a crowded car probably should have said,

"What do you have in that backpack, bricks? Did you know that if you take if off your shoulders and put it on the floor, it will save space and also not hit me in the face when the driver brakes."

And then there are the things that are fun to say, but aren't said much. When I used the urban rail system more for transit and less for pure commuter purposes, I ran into a lot more tourists who didn't know much about the system. One could be kind to them, and it was often worth doing, but sometimes they were oblivious enough that it took a loud

"Walk on the left!"

to get them to gather up their selves and children and bags and other obstructions and let people through.

Another favorite category of mine are the things that are said by body language, specifically, the exercise of force or momentum. For instance, if a group of people are standing in the train's doorway, and have seen you make maneuvers to get to the door, you could say,

"Pardon me, but I need to get off at this stop. Would you please step out for a moment? You can get right back on when I have exited."

Or you could just lower your shoulder and take them with you. The talking way risks miscommunication or the need for further negotiation and convincing of the possibility of your getting off, all of which takes time which you and those behind you may not have before the doors snap shut. The keep-moving way is a sure thing (even for a little guy like myself - just yesterday I ran into a guy who weighed about half again what I do and had about 8 inches on me, and who was walking directly at me, but I hit him a little off center, and he spun out of the way like a shrub off a truck's brush guard). Besides, the looks on their faces is priceless.

Music, in its more modern forms

I have a question over on our other blog. Here's how it is: I know a lot about music in the sense of how to make it, how to create interesting motion within it, how to write it down, etc. However, I lack a certain depth of immersion in pop culture that your combined experience does not. I would find myself in your debt should you share your portion of that immersion. Thank you for your input.

Offworld Beverages

Have you ever noticed how one of the big "advances" of alien civilizations in sci-fi is powerful beverages that "really do it to you"? Romulan ale, Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters, etc.? I mean, we on earth already have readily available liquid concoctions that can make you blind, that can cause you to halucinate, or that can knock you unconscious instantly. Just how much room is there for new avenues of perfection in chemically altered states of mind?

Quote of the day

"Growing up in Serbia, we didn't know whether the Americans or the Russians would win, so in the schools they taught us both English and Russian."

--Nik, our pool's lifeguard

Back to class

In another week, my summer is over, and I hit the books again. (So is my wife, but only for one class.) I have a few interviews lined up for post-graduation work; it's something to think that I will finally be done with the full time student thing and have to move out into the somehow more-"real" world. I will also be working some during the semester, which will be nice. Books and ideas are nice in their own way, but I enjoy more working out actual problems for real people.

In Brief

I haven't posted any personal news in about three months, and you probably don't have the time for an extensive update, so here you go in bullet points:

1. Exams were fine. Sometimes I feel like I'm in Lit class again - as long as I know who the characters are and what they did, I just have to let go and "feel the force" as I answer. Granted there are more details to have to know in the first place, but the open-endedness of the answers is a combination of fun and unsettling. (So much for my intended bullet points...)

2. I am working this summer for a small firm in Fairfax.

3. My wife and I are preparing for a few familial guests this coming week. I was mentioning this fact to someone at church the other day, and they asked if we had any interesting activities planned. It was at that point, of course, that I realized that had I mentioned in the first place that they were going to be in town for a funeral, it would have saved my friend a bit of embarrassment.

4. Work is fun. I love helping people. And ruining peoples' days. People on the other side.

5. Hospitality is great fun. We have been having people over somewhat regularly, and greatly enjoyed ourselves. Hopefully, the feeling has been shared by our guests.

Little Beeblebrox no more

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/5032906.stm

Grr. Arggh.

Pville Town Council

School president to student: "Get on the internship bus and leave governing to real people."

Why the change in tune for Mike "if you get elected to the House of Delegates, I'll give you 15 credits of DRW" Farris? Could it be that the idea of a student making decisions about the school's water and construction requests is more frightening than that of one making grand changes to the commonwealth's religious liberty, freedom of contract, and civil liberty protections? Perhaps concerns about allegations of the school "leaning on" a member of the council with whom they have a relationship of trust? Six years atop the institution just left him more jaded about the present potential of those little rising leaders? We report, you decide...

(article here for the next few weeks)

(In the interest of fairness to Mr. Farris, note that his DRW offer of long ago was not meant seriously or literally at the time. It is not inconsistent with his general interest in the ascent to positions of influence, but was understood as light-hearted encouragement, not a bargain.)

Schedule

Having neglected this blog for some time, I am hoping that the following will serve as adequate excuse for my so doing:

4-25 AM - Int'l Business Transactions
4-27 AM - Conflicts of Law
4-28 PM - Corporations
5-4 AM - Law in Cyberspace

The 30-page paper for Law of War I turned in last week. All in all, this semester has been great, the classes enjoyable. Prayer appreciated as I try to solidify what I know into a ready-made gel for glooping back onto the exams. (Yes, open book exams are a wonderful thing, but they can be more work than closed, because of how much more detailed your preparations can be and how little you need to worry about actually memorizing the stuff...)

Cut scenes

Robert Duvall, discussing his role of Lt. Col. "Napalm in the Morning" Kilgore in Apocalypse Now, reportedly claims his greatest disappointment about the movie is that F. F. Copola cut a scene in which he places a baby in his medevac helocopter after personally shooting both its parents. He thought the scene made his character more complete.

Too many Lawsuits?

For better or worse, however, no limit exists on the number of lawsuits one individual can bring in a lifetime.

--Chancellor Chandler, in In re Fuqua Industries Shareholder Litigation, 752 A.2d 126 (Del. Ch. 1999)




Counsel for the [board of directors] point out in their [brief] that, "plaintiffs and their family appear to have been singularly unlucky investors--they are named plaintiffs in at least thirteen lawsuits (including this one) challenging allegedly improper conduct [citations omitted]." It is unclear what nefarious intent the defendant directors would have me infer from this statistic. While the Kahns' experience might qualify them as icons of Delaware corporate jurisprudence, in my view, their wisdom in forum selection should hardly subject them to a presumption of misconduct. But cf. [the judge sua sponte cites seven suits, "among others" in which the directors were named defendants].

--Chancellor Chandler in Kahn v. Icahn, 1998 Del. Ch. LEXIS 223 (Nov. 12, 1998), n.1.

Woman wins fight against British Primary Care Trust

Ann Rogers of Swindon, Wilts, England won on appeal the right to drugs for treating her breast cancer. The treatment costs about £20,000 annually. The court held that the factors on which the government denied her treatment were irrational and did not prevent discriminatory treatment (of some patients but not others).

While this gets to the obvious problems with socialized medicine (low prices create an artificially high demand, meaning long lines or arbitrary denial of service, etc.), it also gets to the ultimate inability of any system to create equality. The British system attempts to provide medical treatment without reference to ability to pay for it. However, where that system fails, as it inevitably will, ultimately, only those with the money to afford effective lawyers will end up with treatment.

To paraphrase Enemy at the Gates' Danilov, "We tried so hard to create a society that was equal, where there'd be nothing to envy of your neighbour's. But there's always something to envy. Medicine, legal aide, something you don't have and want to appropriate. In this world, even a socialized one, there will always be rich and poor."

(article here)

Student Associations

Yesterday, I was asked to join a group called "Law Students for Choice."

Freaking Arminians.

How do aliens relax at the end of the day?

266 million mile long alcohol stream found in space.

Ok, it's methanol, not ethyl, but who's to say that the aliens don't prefer that sort of alcohol?

Pointless headline of the day

Seen this morning over someone's shoulder in the Post Express: "Rebel Breaks Laws."

Gee, give the guy a break. There weren't any signs in the jungle saying "do not take up arms against your government."

Record-breaking drug user

UK doctors have released info on the long-term effects of too much ecstasy (and its combination with certain other controlled substances). The gentleman in question apparently took some 40,000 tablets over 10 years (around a dozen a day).

Short-term memory loss, while a serious consequence of such behavior, is also probably one of the funniest - he would repeatedly do certain activities, unaware that he had just done them, and only remembering his intent to do them.

Moral of the story - don't do drugs, but make video recordings of those that do.

My Answer (see previous post)

Vowels seem to give an amount of continuity and certainty, connecting the "real" sounds with by certain designated open sounds. Besides giving us a greater range of possible words (thereby increasing our ability to communicate, create, and exert dominion over the earth), it seems vowels are indicative of the "do fully" rather than the "get by" mentality that led to European conquest (more or less) of the entire globe. I can't say for sure that the sun never setting on the English language is a result of vowels, but they are at least consistent with each other.

Vowels also allow a certain irrationality, as (in English), the vowel shown in a spelling has little real connection with the sound produced (e.g., try rhyming dough {doe}, cough {kof}, through {threw}, hough {hok}, lough {lahk}, sough {sef}, and bough {bau}; see also ought {ot}). It forces a sort of mental expansion, a realization that the things that we are told do not entirely line up with reality, but that neither is reason to disrespect and disregard them nor is it reason to bind ourselves to it. We still say our words how we want, and only loosely tie them to the vowels we see. This use of the old while constantly reexamining it and using only what is expedient is representative of the post-Harvey scientific world; it is probably no mistake that spellings were standardized shortly before we were able to turn our knowledge into heavy industry - a use of combined wisdom, acceptance of the unknown, and mental path of least resistance.

Spoken vowels are the primary means by which local pronunciations are formed; written vowels, therefore provide unity despite differences. This "you may say it your way, and I mine, but we're both English," attitude may not have led to democracy without a lot of other help, but it does at least constantly force us to recognize the finitude of our own knowledge, consider what things are right in an absolute sense and what are only relative and defined by man; in essence, a sort of micro-philosophy of itself.

Colonialism, industrialization, democracy, and postmodern philosophy all because of vowels? Perhaps not in any direct causal link, but the ideas seem to have been there waiting to be realized.

Postmodern philosophical question

How would life be different today if English did not have vowels (a la Hebrew)?

Discuss.

Especially looking for input from the Blue Roomers, as this seems up their alley. My answer forthcoming when I formulate it.

Frozen Dead People Update

The market has spoken where the courts too long - the guy who was keeping his parents on ice has announced he had to creamate them when their freezer broke. Oh, well. Here's to somnicide.

Return

I am managing to keep myself pretty busy right now, so I will leave you with only this ponderment:

Why is it that there was no difficulty changing back to driving on the right side of the road, but it took a few days to get re-adjusted to walking on a sidewalk in a right-side system?

Also, if the US didn't have exorbitant import taxes on alcohol, would Baccardi be able to survive?

Busy week ahead

Expect no updates.

If usury laws paralleled alcohol advertising laws...

MasterCard reminds you to enjoy Valentine's Day responsibly.

Moot Court

I have just returned from a moot court judged by Chief Justice John Roberts, Judge Guido Calabresi of the 2nd Circuit, and Judge Sonia Sotomayor of the 2nd Circuit. As a matter of first impression, the new Chief is everything his pedigree seemed. Judge Calabresi was very fun, erudite (at one point, he quoted T. S. Elliot's Hollow Man, and at another, he let roll a death threat in Italian), and was certainly willing to push the participants to their limit and then throw them a rope when they went over the brink (at one point, he told the flustered speaker, "Do you mean to argue..." and laid out exactly how the argument could work; when the poor kid said, "Exactly, your honor," Roberts was ready with challenges to Calabresi's formulation. No respite for the weary.)

The case itself was about whether subliminal messages in music are protected speech. In one humorous exchange, Judge Calabresi stated (by way of example) the "everyone knows that strawberries can give you hives." Before counsel could reply, Justice Roberts commented, "Huh. I just learned something new."

And now this interlude ceases in favor of class preparation...

Japanese Town Roots for Plucky Radish

From the bizarre side of the news:

The town of Aoi, Japan, found community inspiration in a radish that forced its way through an asphalt pavement. They even named it Dokonjo Daikon - "the radish with fighting spirit." The fighting dicot, however, recently received a severe injury, and the townspeople wait to see if it can pull through this time. The town council has even discussed plans for cloning it should it prove unable to survive. Read more here.

So much for the courageous Frenchman

I was quite surprised and pleased to see a French newspaper take on the "Arab street" by adding to the Mohammed cartoon furor, printing the original Danish cartoons and adding some of its own. (Read Story Here.) However, it seems that all courage must be punished in France, and today, the little editor that could got the sack. (Read Story Here.) The editor's courage is all the more remarkable because the paper's owner is Egyptian. Of course, he may have simply failed to check first who owned his company...

This whole row does bring to mind the beauty of my religion, particularly the words of Christ, "All manners of blasphemy shall be forgiven men." And mere forgiveness aside, it is nice to note that He qualifies the proscription on graven images by noting that they are banned insofar as one bows down and worships them. (For example, Moses made the bronze serpent, a picture of the coming Christ, and that was fine, but when people started worshiping it of itself, it had to be destroyed.) The Christian God is comfortable enough with His deityhood that He doesn't have his followers brandish guns when someone, for purely communicative purposes, makes a representation of Him or one of His mouthpieces.

For those who don't check the Alumni board

Once Mary had a little lamb,
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
Between two hunks of bread.

Good news for people who are so stuck in their ways they can't visualize change

"No EU threat" to pint of milk.

Top Tips

(courtesy in part of Viz magazine)

Don't waste money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.

Cinema goers: Please have consideration for pirated DVD viewers by stocking up on snacks and using the restroom BEFORE the film starts.

Rappers: Avoid having to say 'know what I'm sayin' all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place.

Don't waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements.

Red Wine Drinkers: Worried that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night of drinking red wine? Simply drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed to remove the stains.

Soldiers: Invest in a digital camera to avoid all that court martial tomfoolery after a trip to Trueprint.

Murderers: Need to dispose of a body? Simply parcel it up and post it to yourself COD, then refuse delivery.

Burglars: When fleeing from the police, run with your right arm sticking Out at 90 degrees, wrapped in a baby mattress in case they set one of their dogs on you.

Employers: avoid hiring unlucky people by randomly tossing half the applications into the wastebin.

Salad Lovers: A clever way to store lettuce, cabbage and the like is to individually punch holes in the leaves and place them in a ringbinder in the fridge. File cos under 'C', iceberg under 'I' and so on. Simple!

Shoe Bombers: Increase your payload by becoming a clown.

Would-be Criminals: Before you commit a crime, get a foretaste of what the world would look like from inside a prison by holding a fork up close to your eye.

(British) Drunk drivers: When making your way home from a night out, put 'L' plates on your car to convince patrol-ling police that any careless driving is the result of inexperience rather than drink. How you explain a 3am driving lesson is up to you.

Police: Save money on expensive sirens by putting a stray dog on the roof of your patrol car and shutting the door on its tail before responding to a call.

General Officers: Win wars by joining the other side and then letting your fire control crews and radio operators get boozed up.

Skateboarders: Stop your trousers from falling halfway down your arse by wearing a strip of perforated leather with a buckle around your waist.

Single men: Get a glimpse of married life by taping Woman's Hour on BBC Radio 4, then playing it back at a higher volume than the TV whilst trying to watch ESPN.

Winter fun: Enjoy indoor snorkling by filling a bath with water, then removing the plug quickly putting your mouth over it and breathing through the overflow.

Leprechauns: Protect your finances by investing in a mutual fund, rather than relying on an ailing currency and leaving a 300 foot technicolour arrow in the sky pointing to where you have hidden it.

Bare patches on your lawn? Simply stop mowing a patch at the side and let it grow to a significant length. Then, with a rake, sweep it over the bare patch like Bill Gothard does to his hair.

Nervous people: Never chew the inside of your cheeks whilst on high strength prescription painkillers.

Gamblers: For a new gambling opportunity, try sending a £50 note to yourself by Royal Mail.

Hammer nails through a cricket ball and roll it around in fallen leaves. Hey presto! An Autumn snowball. Cheap and great fun for the kids.

Mothers: Don't use poisonous shampoos on your children's hair to get rid of headlice. Scare them away using a dinner plate and an anglepoise lamp to cast a terrifying 'Independence Day' shadow over your child's head.

Ladies: Putting your mouth and chin inside a pint glass and sucking hard for three minutes is an excellent way to give yourself a "Fred Flintstone" five o'clock shadow.

Busy executives: Don't buy a Dachshund. Their amusing sausage shape means they take 50% longer to stroke than other dogs, and time is money.

Don't waste money on a new car with air-conditioning. Simply buy one that has been in a 'death crash' and let the ghosts keep you cool.

In a rush? Cook your breakfast egg in half the time by replacing the water in the pan with commercially available brake fluid, which boils at 200C.

Prevent burglars stealing everything in the house by simply moving everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, simply move it all back again.

Save money on expensive surround sound home cinema systems by only watching films when the appropriate noises are going on outside, e.g., watch horror movies when there is a storm on, or cowboy films whilst local drug gangs are fighting it out in the street.

Depressed people: Instead of attempting suicide as a 'cry for help', simply shout 'Help!' thus saving money on paracetamol, etc.

Motorists: Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone while driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.

Alcoholics: Don't worry where the next drink is coming from. Go to the pub, where a large selection is available at retail prices.

Guns and Legislators

Va. Delegate Accidentally Discharges Gun in State Capitol. Fortunately, the bullet was stopped by a bulletproof vest hanging in his office. Rumor has it that the Capitol Police will be installing kevlar in the offices of all the Senators and Delegates to prevent any future such accidents causing injury. Said Capt. Jack Starling of the Capitol Police, "We think our elected officials should have their own padded rooms."

Vacuums

I had an idea for a cartoon, but lacking the time and not being much of an artist, will merely describe it to you:

There is this display in a department store, standing on it are a number of upright vacuum cleaners, each sporting custom looks - one with the upright composed of a Tiki deity, complete with scary wooden mask, another a multi-armed Hindu god, one to hold each attachment, a third a little Bhodisat, whose fat belly inflates when the cleaner is turned on, and so on. At the top of the display is a banner proclaiming, "Sale on God-Shaped Vacuums--Get one in your life."

Which brings me to the second part of this post: there are some amazing logical progressions which flow from acceptance of the tritism that there is a God-shaped vacuum in every life.

For example:
1) There is a God-Shaped Vacuum in every life (given)
2) God is infinite in dimensions (definition)
3) Infinity cannot be reproduced except to scale (given; definitional from mathematics)
4) A model (shape) of an infinite item must be of 1:1 scale (restatement of 3)
5) A God-shaped item must be infinite in dimensions (Barbara of 2,4)
6) A vacuum contains no matter (definition)
7) A God-shaped vacuum is a space of infinite dimensions containing no matter. (Barbara of 5,6)
8) A "universe" is a space containing matter. (definition)
9) An infinite space containing no matter precludes the existence of matter (tautology)
10) The universe cannot exist. (QED)

If we were to insist that the God-shaped vacuum is in a spiritual plane, we would require that "life" (or "heart" if you wish) also be in that plane, thereby precluding the possibility of human life/heart.

Swedes intervene, get Saudis to allow women to watch soccer

Quick article link to illustrate why we have a culture war with that part of the world.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4623572.stm

Full of hope in the US legal system

Yes, the system really works. California today sentenced the woman and man who falsely claimed finding a finger in their Wendy's chili to a combined total of more than 19 long ones in the state hotel.

Aside from my preference for non-prison sentencing (restitution, community service, etc.), I am glad to see that our oft-criticized courts are quite capable of defending themselves.

Which Historical General Are You?

Note - I broke the test's website, so the following is the best recreation I could manage based on their source coding, given that I didn't want to devote much time to it. LeCampeador complains about the tactical judgments of the testmaker, but I think LeCampeador just overrates his own abilities.

Julius Caesar You scored 55 Wisdom, 81 Tactics, 40 Guts, and 47 Ruthlessness.

Roman military and political leader. He was instrumental in the transformation of the Roman Republic into the Roman Empire. His conquest of Gallia Comata extended the Roman world all the way to the Atlantic Ocean, introducing Roman influence into what has become modern France, an accomplishment of which direct consequences are visible to this day. In 55 BC Caesar launched the first Roman invasion of Britain. Caesar fought and won a civil war which left him undisputed master of the Roman world, and began extensive reforms of Roman society and government. He was proclaimed dictator for life, and heavily centralized the already faltering government of the weak Republic. Caesar's friend Marcus Brutus conspired with others to assassinate Caesar in hopes of saving the Republic. The dramatic assassination on the Ides of March was the catalyst for a second set of civil wars, which marked the end of the Roman Republic and the beginning of the Roman Empire under Caesar's grand-nephew and adopted son Octavian, later known as Caesar Augustus. Caesar's military campaigns are known in detail from his own written Commentaries (Commentarii), and many details of his life are recorded by later historians such as Suetonius, Plutarch, and Cassius Dio.

The Which Historic General Are You Test http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=13827291814577368116

Frozen Dead People

Today's rhetorical question is brought to you by Nederland, Colorado mayor Jim Miller:

"What's the difference between storing frozen loved ones in your basement as opposed to incinerating loved ones and putting their ashes on your mantel?"

Well, for one, frozen loved ones take up more space. This is balanced by the fact that incinerated loved ones don't have that cool frosty blue look. Also, it is probably a little more emotionally traumatic if the dog gets into the frozen ones.

Interestingly, the comment was proffered "to send a message to French officials that they shouldn't be so uptight," a message worth sending under any circumstances that don't involve armpit hair.

For context, see http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4600192.stm and http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/1872334.stm