Vacuums

I had an idea for a cartoon, but lacking the time and not being much of an artist, will merely describe it to you:

There is this display in a department store, standing on it are a number of upright vacuum cleaners, each sporting custom looks - one with the upright composed of a Tiki deity, complete with scary wooden mask, another a multi-armed Hindu god, one to hold each attachment, a third a little Bhodisat, whose fat belly inflates when the cleaner is turned on, and so on. At the top of the display is a banner proclaiming, "Sale on God-Shaped Vacuums--Get one in your life."

Which brings me to the second part of this post: there are some amazing logical progressions which flow from acceptance of the tritism that there is a God-shaped vacuum in every life.

For example:
1) There is a God-Shaped Vacuum in every life (given)
2) God is infinite in dimensions (definition)
3) Infinity cannot be reproduced except to scale (given; definitional from mathematics)
4) A model (shape) of an infinite item must be of 1:1 scale (restatement of 3)
5) A God-shaped item must be infinite in dimensions (Barbara of 2,4)
6) A vacuum contains no matter (definition)
7) A God-shaped vacuum is a space of infinite dimensions containing no matter. (Barbara of 5,6)
8) A "universe" is a space containing matter. (definition)
9) An infinite space containing no matter precludes the existence of matter (tautology)
10) The universe cannot exist. (QED)

If we were to insist that the God-shaped vacuum is in a spiritual plane, we would require that "life" (or "heart" if you wish) also be in that plane, thereby precluding the possibility of human life/heart.