Fed Cuts Interest Rate Below 0%

"Desperate times call for desperate measures," says Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke.

WASHINGTON - After the meeting of the Federal Reserve Board this afternoon, the Fed has announced that it is cutting its funds rate to -0.5% for the first time in history. "Given the current economy's sluggishness, we thought it would be a good idea to literally pay people to take our money," commented Bernanke at a press conference to announce the decision, "Hopefully, this will restart consumer spending without consumers having to worry about where they will get the money to pay off the loan, not that they really ever worry about that anyway. Instead, the consumer can focus on making purchases, secure in the knowledge that the loan will actually get smaller over time." When asked about the danger of consumers making no maintenance payments on the loan, but letting the loan simply dissipate over time, Bernanke dismissed the idea. "Negative interest just doesn't work that way. We have a whole new paradigm to work with. It's an actual example of the cricket that always jumps half the distance and can never get to his target." After letting his eyes glaze over while doing some quick math in his head, the Fed chief finished by stating, "besides, at a mere negative half point, even after fifty years, less than a third of the debt will have paid itself off; at that point, you're applying barely over 30 cents on the thousand dollars. It would be several hundred years before you would even start to have significant rounding errors."

Alternative Medicine

The Heart: Have you ever been to the chiropractor?

The Brain: No. Well, yes, but only for a deposition.

The Heart: That is not exactly what I meant.

The Brain: I know, that is why I said "no" first.

Abstract Thoughts

"If I had a hundred dollars for every time I wanted a hundred dollars, I would have spent all my hundred dollarses, and would have nothing."

(The Brain while pondering Christmas presents for the family)

Lost Church

Russian church 'taken by thieves'

A 200-year-old church building has disappeared from a village in central Russia, officials from the Russian Orthodox Church say.

The building had stood near the village of Komarovo since 1809.

It was intact in July but some time in early October thieves made off with it brick by brick, they said.

Local prosecutors had been informed and an investigation was under way, a spokesman for the local Russian Orthodox Church said.

The disappearance of the Church of the Resurrection, some 300 km (186 miles) north-east of Moscow, was not immediately noticed.

It was in an out-of-the-way area and was not being used, although Church officials were considering resuming services there.

Now all that remained of the two-storey building - a school before it was turned over to the Church - were its foundations and some sections of wall, the Church said.

Thieves often target churches in rural Russia. Religious icons can be sold and church structures sold off for building materials.

Story from BBC NEWS

Compare:

Ours may be leaner and have slightly more pronounced pects, but theirs has more solid abs and thicker arms.

We're doomed.

Seriously...

Seriously, who builds a space-time fluctuation sensor? And how would anyone know that it's important to build one, anyway, at least in their own timeline, since anyone who gets sucked away in a space-time fluctuation should just disappear in a way that is not otherwise detectable. (So I suppose the sensor could be developed just out of a sense of paranoia...)

Bumper Sticker of the Day

Virginia Makes Wine

Napa Makes Auto Parts

Quote of the Week

Kosovo edition:

"Whatever the reason for the coalition victory, everybody was perfectly willing to take credit for it. The Air Force took credit for achieving the first "pure air power victory" in the history of armed conflict. The Navy took credit for the first maritime victory ever won without a single naval engagement. The Army took credit for the greatest air and naval victory ever commanded by an Army general. The White House took credit for the greatest military victory achieved under a Democratic administration since Franklin Roosevelt's.

"No good guys got killed in combat. Not all that many bad guys died either. In all... Kosovo was a perfect little war to end the twentieth century with."

--Jeff Huber, Bathtub Admirals

X-Rays & Shoes - from the VA Code

§ 18.2-321. Using X ray, fluoroscope, etc., in the fitting of footwear.

It shall be unlawful for any person to use any X ray, fluoroscope, or other equipment or apparatus employing roentgen rays, in the fitting of shoes or other footwear. This section shall not apply to any licensed physician or surgeon in the practice of his profession. Any person violating the provisions of this section shall be guilty of a Class 3 misdemeanor.

(Code 1950, § 18.1-416; 1960, c. 358; 1975, cc. 14, 15.)

The Brain: I'm sure radiation is dangerous and all, but banning the use of x-rays for sales of shoes only? They could at least also include hat sales...

The Heart: Why not make it purses, scarves, and umbrellas too?

Hail to the Chief

Language like this is what keeps legal opinions from getting too dry. Nice to see it from the Supreme Court, not just the lower courts. Enjoy Detective Noir, a la the Chief Justice:

North Philly, May 4, 2001. Officer Sean Devlin, Narcotics Strike Force, was working the morning shift. Undercover surveillance. The neighborhood? Tough as a threedollar steak. Devlin knew. Five years on the beat, nine months with the Strike Force. He'd made fifteen, twenty drug busts in the neighborhood.

Devlin spotted him: a lone man on the corner. Another approached. Quick exchange of words. Cash handed over; small objects handed back. Each man then quickly on his own way. Devlin knew the guy wasn't buying bus tokens. He radioed a description and Officer Stein picked up the buyer. Sure enough: three bags of crack in the guy's pocket. Head downtown and book him. Just another day at the office.

Cert denial of Pennsylvania v. Dunlap (U.S. 2008) (Roberts, C.J., dissenting)

Mother Always Told Me Not To Drop My H-s

Israelis digest Kouchner 'H-bomb'

Some Israelis may have choked on their breakfast when a newspaper headline quoted France's foreign minister saying Israel might devour its arch foe, Iran.

Hebrew daily Haaretz splashed across its front page that Bernard Kouchner said Israel might "eat" the Islamic Republic before it got nuclear arms.

The following day Haaretz apologised, saying Mr Kouchner, speaking in English, had actually said "hit".

Mr Kouchner also offered a diplomatic apology for the "phonetic confusion".

When Mr Kouchner was asked about the possibility of Tehran developing a nuclear weapon, the Hebrew and English editions of Haaretz newspaper quoted him saying:

"I honestly don't believe that it will give any immunity to Iran.

First, because you [Israelis] will eat them before."

He went on to say: "And this is the danger. Israel has always said it will not wait for the bomb to be ready. I think that [the Iranians] know. Everyone knows."

The comments were published on Sunday, as Mr Kouchner ended a two-day visit to the region, under the headline in Hebrew saying "You will eat Iran before it achieves an atomic bomb".

On Monday, the paper published a correction and apologised for the "misunderstanding", but it also said the transcription had been cleared with Mr Kouchner's office prior to publication.

The paper did not explain how the mistake had occurred, but dropping the "h" is widely seen as a feature of English spoken with a French accent.

Haaretz's current English online version of the story - with "hit" rather than "eat" - makes no mention of the earlier confusion.

It could be said any levity about the misquote belies the seriousness of the issue it relates to. The US, Israel and their western allies say they believe Iran is seeking nuclear weapons, an accusation Tehran strongly denies.

Israel, the region's sole if undeclared nuclear power, has raised the possibility it might launch a pre-emptive strike against Iran to prevent it from becoming nuclear-armed.

~BBC News

How would you celebrate a worldwide flood?

Quote of the Week

"You can't have your cake and choke on it, too"

--Mel Gibson, describing the lesson of Hamlet

How much is a kid worth these days?

Bassinet Sales Halted

Under new Consumer Protection powers barely two weeks old, the federal CPSC has issued a "pull off the shelves and refund existing models" order for 900,000 multiuse baby bassinets. The move was prompted because a baby apparently managed to strangle itself on a metal bar. Additionally, the agency noted that there had been another infant death a year ago, but is reported to have declined to discuss that matter because it is an "ongoing investigation."

A quick Froogle search reveals that these particular bassinets run about $100 each.

Traffic cameras

Here is an article illustrating one of the downsides of traffic cameras - lack of instant feedback.  Traditional "in person" traffic enforcement leaves you remembering the encounter, and, often, chiding yourself and promising to do better.  Additionally, everybody else sees that someone is pulled over, and they remember that it could be them.

Cameras, however, catch everyone who breaks the law (leaving aside the actually very significant issue of whether assuming that a license plate number identifies the individual driving)... and they don't even know it.  And if, as in the article, you aren't receiving the summonses in the mail, you would never have any feedback.  Until the day you actually get pulled over - the old fashioned way - and get arrested because (first you heard of it) you owe nearly two million dollars for running red lights and pushing your speed.

Which of course, raises the revenue questions (if this one guy owed two mil, what did everyone else's payments amount to?!) and why cities might have incentive to use cameras rather than enforcement methods which provide direct and immediate disincentives for continued violations... another thought for another day.

I grant that perhaps the guy became aware or should have become aware that, when he never seemed to get caught by the cams, there was in fact something wrong with the notice system, and perhaps he decided to take advantage of this seeming immunity. He was, after all, running up, on average, a citation every two and a half days for seven years.