Thursday, September 29, 2005

A Mad, Mad Commute

Anecdote of the day from my yesterday:

As I was exiting the P________ C___ Metro station, there was a woman in a bright yellow muumuu (in subsequent events she mentioned that she is 48 years old) attempting to use the exit stile and having immense difficulty doing so. As I passed by, I noticed that two Metro employees were attempting to instruct her on how to use the stile. She appeared agitated and began yelling at the Metro attendants. I didn't think much of it and left the station.

Waiting for my bus, I found a place to stand above ground near the escalator to the surface. Some two or three minutes later, I heard the same woman, apparently having finally extricated herself from the fare machinery, shouting at people in the tunnel and as she came up the escalator (particularly a group of smokers in their customary place near the escalator).

She transited the bus waiting area, glowering at people as she walked through their midst, and finally settling herself down on a bench. Soon along came a servicewoman, of the same race, in office attire, who sat down on the same bench and proceded to field a cell phone call.

Somehow, this touched off the already disturbed woman, who began yelling, even louder than before, that she didn't need someone talking on the phone, invading her personal sphere and giving her a headache, and that the woman must hang up. Meanwhile, a man in a white t-shirt and very dirty jeans, who had been going up to people in the bus stop begging spare change and indicating that he was the husband of the woman under discussion, moved over to intervene on behalf of the woman on the cell phone. While he was able to provide a physical barrier, the woman continued to shout around him that she was tired of how people would annoy her without good cause, and how she couldn't understand why the cell-phone using woman was being so obnoxious as to continue using the phone when she had provided her plenty of opportunity to stop. She concluded with, "Don't ignore me. It's illegal to ignore me."

Well, the servicewoman had had enough of that, and seeking to remove the cause for contention, got up and moved to a more remote part of the bus stop. Having to explain to the person on the other end of the phone what was going on, however, she found herself unable to suppress a smile and a few laughs at the absurdity of the situation. The angry woman, who had been watching over her shoulder with narrowed eyes, became suddenly livid again, and shouted that the younger woman shouldn't consider herself somehow special just because she was in the service; after all, her own son was in the Marines (I think there may have been some logic to that statement, however, it escapes me at the moment). Then drawing attention to the fact that she had been on this planet longer than the younger girl, and questioning the girl's ancestry, the perturbed woman announced that (paraphrasing for grammatical reasons) it was only by her good graces that the woman was permitted to exist, and that she ought to show appreciation for what a special honor it was to be in her presence. She closed by announcing that she owned this place and the younger woman better do what she wanted.

In the meantime, a gentleman wearing digital camo and packing roughly 250 lbs., all muscle, had wandered over, setting himself almost in between the women, who were about 30 feet apart by now, and effectively foreclosing the possibility of a physical confrontation. The mad woman kept up her loud abuse in the same vein as before, but the crowd had by this point begun to laugh aloud at her efforts.

The bus (a private club bus, not municipal) showed up, and most of us got on. As we settled ourselves in, the driver, normally quite a jovial fellow anyway, sensed the levity of his passengers, and was about to begin questioning us when the yellow-muumuued woman approached the bus. The driver asked to see her club card, and she said "I don't want to ride, I just want to have some parting words with that witch you have on board." The entire bus was filled with uproarious laughter, and the driver, realizing that he was now in on the joke, and beginning to grasp what a good joke it was, had to close the door while he tried to compose himself. Needless to say, discussion of the events didn't stop until we reached our respective stops.

Moral of the story: get rid of your TV and ride public transit, it's much more entertaining.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

When in doubt, it's the Democrats' fault

Glad to see that Michael Brown has finally gotten his chance to explain what happened in Louisiana (but not neighboring states that were equally hard hit), albeit to a congressional panel. Tom Davis, chair of the panel, being the political animal that he is, should be able to smell the blood in the water, and will hopefully be able to put Gov. Blanco and Mayor Nagin under tough questioning based on Brown's accusations.

(On an unrelated note, what is a "gantlet" of reporters?)

Monday, September 26, 2005

Words

Ever found yourself needing a word to describe something succinctly but realizing that English hadn't borrowed it yet? This gentleman has compiled a list of more-or-less likely candidates for such inclusion. In my opinion,

"Aviador" (from Central American Spanish - a government employee who only works on payday) is probably a useful term we ought to steal;

"Koshatnik" (from Russian - a dealer in stolen cats) doesn't seem very culturally relevant for us;

"Backpfeifengesicht" (from German - a face that cries out for a fist to be planted in it) has a beautiful meaning, but I can't imagine many American English speakers making a recognizable imitation of the word.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Prof Anecdote

At the end of class yesterday, one of my profs (we'll call him "Grampa Jack") related how when he first started teaching (years and years ago at Stanford), his wife was still attending the law school. Realizing how much of his meager professorial income was going toward her tuition, he asked the University to let her attend for free under the employee benefits plan.

The school informed him that the tuition benefit only applied to children, not spouses. Thereupon, he said, "Well, then, I suppose I'll just have to adopt her."

To this, they replied, "Do that and we'll have you arrested and fired for incest."

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Jonah 2:8

Thought of the moment while I wait for some water to boil:

Those that observe lying vanities forsake their own mercies.

--Jonah 2:8 (KJV)


Those mercies that I ought to have and live in, which would be my strength and sustenance, are lost because I do not keep my thoughts pure and true. The NIV translates "vanities" as idols, but the sense need not be so restrictive - insofar as I put my trust and hope in any being (including myself), idea, or thing other than God, and insofar as I take actions other than in accordance with His commands, I remove the very mercies by which I am intended to live.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

The Black Angus

Those of you who have seen the ancient Beast that I drive: what do you think of this bumper sticker I saw today?

This vehicle has been in
15 Accidents
And won them all.

The other one I liked (though the valuation is a bit much for the Angus) was

Why risk a $20,000 car
braking for a 28¢ cat?

Monday, September 19, 2005

Local Government

For those who limit to the federal government their concerns about the size and power of the State apparatus, Clint Bolick's Leviathan (available to read online) may prove an interesting read. Borrowing from Hobbes' postulate that government can only absorb to itself power, Bolick tracks the growth of local governments in the United States, their omnipresence in daily life, and their general lack of accountability for the powers they exercise. If you need a good horror story and Edgar Allen Poe isn't scary enough for you anymore, try Bolick.

Maccabees

Just finished a (very short) biography of Judas Maccabeus by E.H. Fortier. A rather amazing guy, though quite in the tradition of good Jewish military leaders. He seems to have had a firm grasp on espionage, and used Seleucid politics as handily as the sword. Methinks further study of this fascinating episode is in order.